why am i here ?

how did i get here? it's quite simple too many calories.

Fat, obese, large, big whatever you want to call it - I am done being it.

In January of this year, 2014, I made a promise to myself - this is the year for this to stop. Not one of those empty new years resolutions, but the actual commitment to taking my life back. This at 246 lbs the first day of the year.

In college, my lowest weight was 150. At that point, being 5'9" i felt pretty invincible. i walked everywhere, went to the gym five or six days a week, did aerobic classes in tight fitting lycra, learned about the benefits of weight lifting and hung out in the weight room for an hour or so a day.

Then - disruption - a new great job, a move to Buffalo - no time for a gym, let alone weight room and all hell broke loose. I had an expense account - you know a company AMEx and all the right in the world to eat and drink and play with clients at any restaurant I wanted to.  Hello 30 lbs !  Weight Watchers correction, down 25 lbs. Back to shenanigans.

Then the company decided to discontinue the brand i was selling. Job lost. Life Correction - back to the gym, 8 months no 'suitable' job, lost the 30 lbs I had put  back on partying.  New job. Two years. Another new job and back on the road but this time on MY schedule and MY own expenses. Less partying, took up long distance cycling in the summer and skiing - regularly- in the winter.

Met husband. Bought house - had baby - back came those happy 30 lbs. Had another baby. Weight on, Weight off with the Cherry Hill Fitness Center and the Zone diet, no time for exercise - two miscarriages and then new baby… no time for anything sensible with two tiny kids, a house and a job !  

Then the crash - MIL passes away, DH accepts a job in the south. Stress, move  - more weight on - new all time high - 225 !   Second baby is 1 1/2 and it's time to lose that baby weight. Enter Beverly Hills Weight Loss center supplements, protein and 'supervision' - and no work outs. Down to 200 from 225.

Bored with program - new job !

Yeah and 15 years later sitting at a desk with intermittent interruptions from the Atkins Program, the Paleo Diet and here we are at age 52 and 256 lbs. Holy Cow - literally.

"Oh, you don't look like you weigh that much"
"You carry it well"
"You hid that by dressing so nicely" - yeah nicely in size 20W - WTF ?

I know that i will never be the size 6 to 8 that my beautiful daughter is, she has a smaller frame - but I think with a lot of hard work, I can absolutely get back to a 12 ? Right.

So I find a bariatric doctor. In case you need one, her name is Karen Bowen and she runs an office called Bariatric Solutions - it is a Novant Facility. Nice Lady.